A day of boxes or boxing? Neither for me - I want to be open to the sky and embrace before fighting. Thus my insistence on acceptance first and first of all steps. The closest I can come to is that I accept that my doctor thinks I have a tumour. In my head and heart and breast I hope it is a benign cyst. It could well be that. At the time of the right side stuff, there was cancer in situ here, but I got rid of that with the excellent dietary and lifestyle changes I adopted, but it does mean I have a tendency for growths.
Emotionally it is connected with the loss of parent or child 2 years prior. Now my cat only left one month ago, so maybe I am processing more quickly. Is that an out-to-lunch possibility? Who knows.
So this is my idea.
· First get used to dealing with this and not worry about it until I at least have the results.
· Moratorium on anything the slightest bit dairy or sugar for the next 2 weeks – not that I have a lot, but I do some.
· Continue this blog - this journey - this process. If at all this lump is cancerous, I will do surgery, even radiation, but chemo?! That thought calls for a major "Argh!!!" to the universe. As for hormonal therapy, and this is where I want to bargain, I will ask for a time frame (6 months?) and do all the healing modalities that come into my head and heart: be my own guinea pig – maybe someone will want to monitor it as a university study – complementary therapies versus allopathic. God knows that health is a hot potato, with allopaths leading the field, but all complements galloping up from behind. I was interviewed a couple of months ago by one student on my last cancer trip - his assignment to do that. He got an A- for the work. All down the road, but the blog is begun! And the energy is there thank the Lord.
A demain, SF