Scientific proof that the chemotherapy is working

So I meet with the medical oncologist before the second treatment, and after the initial greetings and courtesies he asks: "What's new?" To that I take off my bamboo beanie that a dear friend knitted for my head and show him my bald pate. "Oh," he said, "Must be the chemo is working..........."

Healing begins

I am just reaching the end of the first 3-week chemotherapy cycle.  The initial week after the first treatment was extremely symptomatic, with all that one would expect from an atomic explosion.  Then one week later, I woke up suddenly feeling much better, and that sense has increased daily.  I now prepare for the second hit.
During this time I have been blessed with a great healing of the issues I had with my dad.  Bringing them to light and letting them go has been the process, and suddenly I find I can say the Ho'oponomo mantra with no residue emotion in the bones.   It can take a long time to heal old wounds, and it can take no time at all  - this wonderful dichotomy of life.  For a fun take on the latter, and a great belly laugh if you have 5 minutes, watch Bob Newhart's approach to therapy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1g3ENYxg9k

Today I shave my head , or rather I go to the hair salon for the professional touch to finish the job of shedding over 100,000 hairs.   I am blown away by what the Creative Intelligence has evolved in the creation of the human being, especially right now the wonderful aspect of hair..............
Stay tuned for round two, Soon-to-be-bald-Su-An

One down - three to go!

I am just ending the first crucial 48 hours after a 6 hour induction into chemical therapy for cancer. It appears that during this time the chemicals are transformed and excreted.  Their side effects will manifest in 7-10 days.  I am receiving  a cocktail of Taxol with Carboplat.  I sense that the latter has some heavy metal in it, but to my surprise I have discovered that Taxol is derived from the poison of yew trees.  Now how interesting is that!
In England, yew trees are found around cemeteries - the wood is also used for archers' bows, and these 2 facts speak to me.  In India, one of the big guys - Lord Shiv - he goes to cemeteries to better meditate on the transient nature of the body.  He also drank poison to purify the world.  The area where I lived in the Himalayas is very fond of Lord Shiv, because that is his stomping ground - there are many temples and mountains named after him.  I also developed a great appreciation for his powers to help and guide me across this ocean of life, and so it is with this connection, I have been singing his praises since this realisation.
The other element concerns the Amazon women who deliberately gave themselves mastectomies so they could better wield their bow and arrows for hunting.  There is a link there.

This discovery has fuelled my visualisation for this chemo journey.  I will tell you what I have come up with.
First I blow up a chi balloon around my body - just breathing, but visualising that I am creating  a chi balloon with the body bag inside.  Next comes a small entrance on the level of a vein which leads to the blood supply.  In there creep hundreds of miniature, invisible Ninja warriors who start circulating; their mission is to destroy the cancer cells by popping them like bubble wrap.  Check out this site!
http://fun.from.hell.pl/2003-11-24/bubblewrap.swf
I am having a great time with this visualisation.  I renew it each morning by bringing in a new shift of workers.  My challenge I see is to increase my vision of numbers - it is ridiculously small!  I pop these cells one by one.  Duh!  There are trillions of cells in the body, so I need to increase my mathematical limited understanding or I will be here forever.  Maybe this will help my financial situation!

I wish to appreciate the enormous sense of care that lies in the human heart.  It comes with birth, but sometimes those familial patterns are more for resolving karma before spirit can evolve.  So we grow friends and lovers, and realise one day that the whole of humanity is our family - brothers and sisters - breathers of the one life, living on a blue pearl in the ocean of space.
I am blessed with a network of strong light beings in this family of mine.  It includes the doctors, nurses, volunteers, maintenance staff of the hospital where I am going for the treatments.  And wow, has that ever come a long way in the last 7 years.  Coming from India as I was at that time, I was used to crowded waiting rooms and peeling paints.  No big deal.  This time - proverbial chalk and cheese.  On entry, I was given a buzzer/vibrator that would quietly call me to go see the nurse or doctor.  The lovely volunteers were on hand to give a smile, a pillow or a juice.  I was visited by the pharmcist, the nurse and told that next time I can watch movies, get a chair massage, see a music therapist, a psychologist, social worker.  I almost asked for a pedicure...........
All good, except a small tinge of wondering how sick I am when my whole day (7am-6pm) is spent in a hospital...............Who can figure these things.
So far so good and that's good enough for today.
Su-An

Integration

This week saw a wonderful  advance to my project.  I have secured the help of a medical doctor who is an expert in hormones; she practices helping women naturally balance their own.  Yeah!  This is a huge step. 

I am of the opinion that we are still at the early learning stage when it comes to hormones.  I compare it to the undestanding of vitamins.  They were first discovered around a century ago and named one at a time after that.  And now, one hundred years late, we know that  there are hundreds of these micro-nutrients in one apple alone!
In other words, we are living at a very exciting time regarding our understanding of hormones.  Given that I am dealing with a hormone related cancer, I want to work with someone who understands them the best.  This week I found that person!  She has agreed to work with me after the allopathic treatments. This gives me enormous relief - I really don't have to start with Tamoxifen in the fall.  Yeah!  We did one blood test pre-chemo, and will continue the experiment come October.  And it is an experiment.  There ain't much out there regarding post-menopausal women and balanced hormones, just vague memories of elderly aunts with hairy chins and stooped backs.  Let's not go there! 

First chemo Monday morning - heavy metal induction.  I am ready as ready can be, trying not to cloud this time around with last time's memories.  Each day a new day.
Stay tuned, Su-An