5/6/10

One down - three to go!

I am just ending the first crucial 48 hours after a 6 hour induction into chemical therapy for cancer. It appears that during this time the chemicals are transformed and excreted.  Their side effects will manifest in 7-10 days.  I am receiving  a cocktail of Taxol with Carboplat.  I sense that the latter has some heavy metal in it, but to my surprise I have discovered that Taxol is derived from the poison of yew trees.  Now how interesting is that!
In England, yew trees are found around cemeteries - the wood is also used for archers' bows, and these 2 facts speak to me.  In India, one of the big guys - Lord Shiv - he goes to cemeteries to better meditate on the transient nature of the body.  He also drank poison to purify the world.  The area where I lived in the Himalayas is very fond of Lord Shiv, because that is his stomping ground - there are many temples and mountains named after him.  I also developed a great appreciation for his powers to help and guide me across this ocean of life, and so it is with this connection, I have been singing his praises since this realisation.
The other element concerns the Amazon women who deliberately gave themselves mastectomies so they could better wield their bow and arrows for hunting.  There is a link there.

This discovery has fuelled my visualisation for this chemo journey.  I will tell you what I have come up with.
First I blow up a chi balloon around my body - just breathing, but visualising that I am creating  a chi balloon with the body bag inside.  Next comes a small entrance on the level of a vein which leads to the blood supply.  In there creep hundreds of miniature, invisible Ninja warriors who start circulating; their mission is to destroy the cancer cells by popping them like bubble wrap.  Check out this site!
http://fun.from.hell.pl/2003-11-24/bubblewrap.swf
I am having a great time with this visualisation.  I renew it each morning by bringing in a new shift of workers.  My challenge I see is to increase my vision of numbers - it is ridiculously small!  I pop these cells one by one.  Duh!  There are trillions of cells in the body, so I need to increase my mathematical limited understanding or I will be here forever.  Maybe this will help my financial situation!

I wish to appreciate the enormous sense of care that lies in the human heart.  It comes with birth, but sometimes those familial patterns are more for resolving karma before spirit can evolve.  So we grow friends and lovers, and realise one day that the whole of humanity is our family - brothers and sisters - breathers of the one life, living on a blue pearl in the ocean of space.
I am blessed with a network of strong light beings in this family of mine.  It includes the doctors, nurses, volunteers, maintenance staff of the hospital where I am going for the treatments.  And wow, has that ever come a long way in the last 7 years.  Coming from India as I was at that time, I was used to crowded waiting rooms and peeling paints.  No big deal.  This time - proverbial chalk and cheese.  On entry, I was given a buzzer/vibrator that would quietly call me to go see the nurse or doctor.  The lovely volunteers were on hand to give a smile, a pillow or a juice.  I was visited by the pharmcist, the nurse and told that next time I can watch movies, get a chair massage, see a music therapist, a psychologist, social worker.  I almost asked for a pedicure...........
All good, except a small tinge of wondering how sick I am when my whole day (7am-6pm) is spent in a hospital...............Who can figure these things.
So far so good and that's good enough for today.
Su-An

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